I smell stomach acid.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
