My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
