Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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