I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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