so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I look better un-naked...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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