I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
