new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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