i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
