I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
