If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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