you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
