I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
