I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
