Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She's the barista slut.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize