NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
