My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
