Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
