great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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