Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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