once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i drank out of a bidet.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize