So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
What a dumb baby whore.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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