You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
