I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
