Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
