i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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