I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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