Ambien. No doubt about it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
