Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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