Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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