She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize