i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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