Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
