toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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