Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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