yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize