I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
