I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
