Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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