i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
They are going to name an STD after you.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
