It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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