dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Randomize
