And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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