she was so not down for the gang bang
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
