I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
