I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
