Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
