Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
