Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
