Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
