I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
