I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
