we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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