Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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