I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
