You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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