Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
