How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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