Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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