nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
