Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
