It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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