Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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