His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
