Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
