I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
