he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
