when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize