we made out on top of his cat.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's shark week go big or go home
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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